Friday, January 18, 2008

Cloverfield Sucks.

Do not buy into the hype. Cloverfield is a lousy, stupid, pointless movie with shaky hand-held camera shooting the whole way through. I am so annoyed that we wasted our date night on such a lame movie. I hate it when the ending of a movie or book leaves me sitting there saying "What? This is all I get?"

Chris and I had both been convinced that it might be a cool movie. The buzz around the Internet was really good. Unfortunately, the non-disclosure acts surrounding the movie kept us from hearing that it was not nearly as awesome as they wanted us to believe that it was.

Oh well.

Next week we're going to go see The Orphanage, because I've heard that it is really cool. So far, I've been really impressed with Guillermo Del Toro's other movies. Hellboy was fun, Pan's Labyrinth was amazing, and the second Hellboy movie looks like it is going to be AWESOME! (Ok, seriously, I can't get over the evil faeries in the trailer. I could watch it a million times. I'm not even sure I need a movie. I'm just all: EVIL FAERIES! and that's enough for me) Although the trailers for The Orphanage struck me as lame, I've heard that it's a nicely scary combination of horror and drama, and Chris wants to see it. Of course, he wanted to see Cloverfield more than I did, so if The Orphanage strikes out, he loses movie-suggesting privileges!

After the lousy movie, we went out for Indian food, which was incredible. I am so stuffed! Murgh Tikka is the best.

63 comments:

  1. it sucked to incredible heights. we had a company pre-screening -- 15 people left early on to vomit from motion sickness. the rest of us felt like turning in expense reports for the 70 wasted minutes. lame to the point of renting decent movies. well, i guess jj abrams has used up his move hype card. worst 30million ever spent. worst 70 mimnutes apart from other movies i've walked out on -- this one, i stuck with it. mostly because it was free.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I could not have agree with you guys more. I had never been in a movie that more then 1/3 of the people are leaving the cinema while the show is on. THIS SUCKS BAD!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Japanese Sci-Fi Film/Story1/19/08, 10:13 AM

    To start, the graphics sucked, and the story line was cheap! J.J. Abrams should be ashamed of himself for calling himself a Godzilla fan. Thank God this was not another remake of Godzilla or another Japanese film. Fact: Americans don't do well with remakes of Japanese Anime or Live Action films. The commercials don't hold up to ones expectations. The commercials make it seem that this is going to be about a giant monster and J.J. Abrams even has said this on TV short interviews. Fact is this is not about a giant monster at all; it is about a guy trying to save his girlfriend from the havoc situation-taking place. Holding the camcorder thing does not work well here; it only worked in Blair Witch. Save your money and wait until it comes out on DVD, and even then wait until it goes off the "New Release" section to save even more money. The acting was poor to boot.

    From: An Expert Japanese Sci-Fi Film/Story Analyses

    ReplyDelete
  4. The WashPost already panned it, so I wasn't going to put it on my Netflix list anyway. Apparently the hand-held camera bit was on purpose, to make you think it was almost a documentary.

    (We ate at a Japanese steak house after bookgroup today and I'm really too full.)

    ReplyDelete
  5. whatever, it was awesome.

    from: an expert on awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wished I saw this first, as I wasted money and precious moments of my life.
    Yes ,I too puked half way through the flick.I was not alone.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I am completely shocked that J.J. Abrams would put out a total piece of crap. I hope he doesn't do this to the new star trek movie.
    I was ready to walk out in the first 5 minutes, but decided to give it a chance. I don't care about the $6 I lost, but I can't get back the 84 minutes of my life that was wasted. I would have rather watched the Hannah Montana movie!

    ReplyDelete
  8. You guys are stupid... This movie was amazing.. one of the best movies Ive seen. He did a awesome job and you guys are being way to critical. People clapped at the end in my theatre, I think you people are crazy or just have a horrible taste in movies.

    ReplyDelete
  9. AAAArrrgh! I should've gone with my spidey sense on this one!! Damn me for second guessing myself! I was going to have a 'home preview' via d'l ing it from the net, but I thought that this movie may (keyword here) MAY~ need to be seen on big screen for appreciation value and all that crap. I won't say I wasted time or money, but this movie (and I have trouble calling it that) is the main reason why I 'Free Preview' by DL'ing a screeneer/cam and then, if I enjoy it, I'll pay for a copy on DVD when they're released as this is giving support to the people that make the film.

    My too scents.

    ReplyDelete
  10. AJ, where the heck linked to your blog?

    ReplyDelete
  11. << AJ, where the heck linked to your blog? >>

    I don't know! I'm guessing that people have just been searching for posts about the movie and found mine? This is definitely the most comments I've ever had on a post :P

    For those who disagree with my opinion... That's your right, and I realize that not everyone feels the same way about every movie as I do. However, since I refrained from calling people who DO like the film stupid, I'd appreciate it if you'd show me the same respect.

    For those who found the film as insufferable as I did, I'm sorry that we all had to learn our lesson the hard way!

    ReplyDelete
  12. well, your blog post is #1 on google for "cloverfield sucks" which is, I'm guessing, people are finding your blog... That's how I did it :)

    I can't believe anyone with even only a quarter of their brain functioning correctly would dare calling this "movie" anything better than utter crap.

    My wife got sick, I still got a headache... And it's the first time I get out of a theater feeling than I got ripped off. Usually, I just think the movie was bad... But this one... It really feels like false advertising after all the hype.

    I won't be tricked twice by these types of trick... One more reason to download torrents.

    I think I'm gonna re-watch "The Host" right now and get rid off the bad taste in my mouth...

    ReplyDelete
  13. now 2 of my friend who went watch the movie ignoring my warning, and they PUKED!!! Serve them right for not listening to me!

    And I'm pretty sure the good comment or review about the movie is just a marketing cheap trick posted by JJ Abrams himself or someone paid by him to do so!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thanks for clearing that up, wack! Too funny that a bead-and-jewelry blog is showing up as the first hit on a movie-related search. Gotta love the Internet!

    ReplyDelete
  15. hehe, just googled cloverfield sucks and here i am.. nothing more to add, oh wait: Boooooooooooh............
    greetx from germany ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  16. The main reason I didn't like this movie is that it was "inspired by 9/11 footage". It's not cool to make money from it unless you're making a philosophical point from it or something.
    I didn't like it for many other reasons, like ***spoilers***
    the skyscraper being supported on another skyscraper (don't know if it's possible); Head of Statue of Liberty is falling right on the street where the main characters are (too convenient for reality concept); monster baby amphibian can't stay alive from all that firepower (yes i know it came from deep in the ocean and is adapted to high pressure)
    P.S. I didn't get motion sick though because I sat at the back of the theater.

    ReplyDelete
  17. ha, I think your blog was found by everyone the way I found it. I googled "CLOVERFIELD SUCKS" because I am so irritated by how shitastic it is.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I have seen a lot of movies in the past 30+ years...and this movie Garbagefield is the absolute WORST. Movies like this will continue to drive the last nail in the coffin of walk-in movies. J.J. and his marketing cronies got one over on a lot of folks...including me. This movie will be placed on top of the Hollywood trash-heap.:0(

    ReplyDelete
  19. Yup, I googled cloverfield sucks too. I'd guess that about 99.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% of the people who saw it hated it and/or threw up or wanted to. Add to that the short runtime and the horrible ending, and I think JJ Abrams might have a class-action lawsuit on his hands. I'd sue him for my 20 bucks, count on it.

    ReplyDelete
  20. It really really really sucked. But I'm not sure if it was the worst movie ever. "Showgirls" was pretty bad. So was "Gigli." But Cloverfield is in contention.

    ReplyDelete
  21. It definitely wasn't the worst movie I've ever seen. "Beyond The Wall of Sleep" claims that title, although that was direct-to-video horror, and thus is expected to be crap.

    I can't say that I'm angry enough to want to get in on a lawsuit, but I definitely won't be so trusting of movie hype in the future.

    ReplyDelete
  22. THIS POINTLESS STUPID WASTE OF CELLULOID!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    CRAP!!!!!!!!!!
    JJ abrams SUCKS BIG CLOVERFIELD PIPE.
    Wish I could bitch slap that idiot.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I also googled "cloverfield sucks" and here I am. I agree with everybody, this movie really sucked. I had a huge headache and I don't know why I stayed thru the whole thing, I guess to get my money's worth, but the ending sucked too. It did not answer any questions like what happaned to the monster and where it came from...another planet? the ocean? After watching The Blair Witch Project I promised myself never to watch camera shaking movies but in this case I did not know that it was like this, I think it was false advertisement. We all should sue the producers of this piece of crap called Cloverfield.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I would rather have eaten another spit on birthday cake at my ugly fat fuck up mother in law than to have to watch this piece of shit ever again. This cost how much money? Now I know why the movie makers are going broke.
    They should use this piece of shit at Git MO.
    I want my money back I want the time I wasted on this shit back and I want the balls of the asshole who made this shit roasting in my fireplace so he will never ever have to explain why people hate him so much to his off spring.
    die asshole die

    ReplyDelete
  25. You have been Stumbled my friend.

    This movie sucked horribly. I didn't like the shakey camera bit in Blair Witch and it was just as bad here. I didn't have to puke mid way through but did have to look away to get my bearings.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Thanks, I will not go and see it since all I hear is bad reviews. Another Blair Witch type movie ....greaaaaat.....

    ReplyDelete
  27. Just a note. Today we returned to the same theater where we saw Cloverfield. They now had signs taped up at the box office warning people that the movie was filmed in the same style as Blair Witch and that those prone to motion sickness may not want to see it.

    I'm guessing they had a lot of complaints!

    ReplyDelete
  28. This film was to aggravating beyond belief. I've never wanted characters to die so badly in my life. I'm sorry to say, but this was a waste of time. Lack of imagination? This movie is for you.

    ReplyDelete
  29. this was the suckiest of all sucky movies that ever sucked in all suckdom!!! terrible movie thank you for your sight that allowed me to vent...my wife concurs it sucked sucked sucked..if this film was a hooker ...it would be rich because it really really sucks!! big time!

    ReplyDelete
  30. I too googled "Cloverfield sucks."

    You may have started a movement.

    I thought "The Day After Tomorrow" was the worst disaster flick ever but "Cloverfield" sucks so much harder. The eternal party scene, the paper thin yet massively annoying characters, the ridiculous "plot," the pretentious camera work.

    Cloverfield is a bad movie.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Agree with most of what is said here. 70 mins of running around in the dark with a camcorder does not make a great movie. Have big headache after watching this over-hyped peice of shit. Acting was so poor, characters so awful you wished them dead. As for the monster... save your money, stay at home.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Well, I guess I'm at the minority on this blog but I did enjoyed this film.

    ReplyDelete
  33. You guys are not going to believe how I got to this blog. I googled "Cloverfield Sucks" and this blog came right up. I can honestly say that cloverfield was the worst movie I've seen in years. That party scene took up nearly a third of the goddamn movie. The actors were shitty, the damn camera movement was iritating as hell, and the plot was shaky. This is the same reason I didn't see that Blair Witch movie. Judging from the commercials, I expected the film to be about the monster. That's why people came to see the movie, for the monster not the goddamned, winey, pissant, assinine humans. Like I give a shit about some guy going back for his girlfriend. I even forgot the guys name, I've forgotten all of their names. JJ Abrams should be ashamed to put his name on that shit. If this is what I have to expect from Abrams, I am worried about the new Star Trek movie. CLOVERFIELD SUCKS, STAR TREK ROCKS!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Yep, I too got here by googling "Cloverfield Sucks'. LOL BLAIR WITCH meets GAMMERA meets TITANIC. That pretty much sums it up, and it was absolute garbage that dropped 70% the second week. This POS won't be remembered a year from now, for all the fanboy raving.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I don't know about that, D.L. Crap cinema has a way of lingering in peoples' minds... Plan 9 From Outer Space, anyone?

    It's been over a year since my friends and I subjected ourselves to "Beyond The Wall Of Sleep" and we still talk about it from time to time. If you're not familiar with that bit of filmed garbage, you can see my review here:
    http://www.collectortimes.com/2006_11/movie2.html

    ReplyDelete
  36. I feel bad that you all went to see the movie under false pretenses but NO WHERE was it claimed the movie was about the monster. If you goto see movies based on trailers you get what you deserve. The movie from as far back as I can remember was always to be about a group of friends and what happens to them when a monster attacks the city. At least to me it was better than Blair Witch since I actually got to SEE the monster. BW left you with nothing but the queasy feeling from watching a handicam movie. And for clarification I LUVED the movie and thought it was great. My wife disliked that she thought they didn't give you enough about the monster. But as is with JJ he is always about the little details. Like the part at the very end of the movie the last scene at coney island in the background you see something big fall into the water. I mean heck LOST is the greatest and most aggrivating show I luv to hate.

    AND SPOILER ALERT!!
    At the very end during the credits on Cloverfield there is a blurb that is not quite clear. From what I understand it's something that is said backwards but when reversed says "It's not dead". BOOYAH Cloverfield 2 here I come. LUVED THE MOVIE and thank you all for paying to help make it possible for me to see more in the future.

    Oh and BTW I found your site by googling JJ sucks because I was mad about the 1st episode of season 4 of LOST. Luv the show but hate all the questions it leaves you with at the end of each episode.

    And so I don't feel left out I had a ham & cheese croisant and a ROCKSTAR before I started work. ;p

    ReplyDelete
  37. Also wanted to comment on someone saying they wished the cast was dead because I was in the same boat. But miraculously like JJ was sitting next to me and he listened THEY DIED! Best movie ever. No happy sappy ending just boom I hate these characters I wish they die and they do. Awesome.

    I'm drinking a PEPSI. ;p

    ReplyDelete
  38. german movie dude2/1/08, 3:38 PM

    Hallo,

    greatings from germany. I saw the movie today and it sucks so extrem that i even can't find the right words to express how much i hate this movie. The camera sucked, the unanswered questions sucked and the poor story sucked the most.

    I expected a cool monster movie similar like godzilla only a little bit better. I wanted to see much more of the army fighting the monster in NY. But all i got from this movie is wasted money, wasted time and i would like to kick the producer and those damn marketing guys who fooled me right into their balls.

    I am going to watch now peter jacksons king kong special extended edition on DVD because thats a cool monster movie. Perhaps my mood will be better after watching that.

    Cloverfield suck and JJ Abrams sucks, too!

    best regards
    yours movie dude from germany

    ReplyDelete
  39. Crazy Daze -- Someone else expressed opinions similar to yours on a forum I'm on. I hope you'll forgive me for being lazy and copying my response to them in this post to you.

    "Not only have I heard that JJ Abrams intended his movie to be an American counterpart to the kaiju films of Japan (and whatever Korea calls its burgeoning monster movie genre), but the trailer made it appear to be a monster movie. When the trailer contains images of Manhattan being destroyed and tantalizing glimpses of the monster behind skyscrapers, you expect it to be a cheezy destruction action film, along the lines of Godzilla or even American films like Independence Day and Deep Impact.

    Furthermore, as a reader of the Gothic fiction of HP Lovecraft, I do appreciate the character-driven drama of people caught up in things beyond their control and understanding. While Cloverfield may have been accurate in portraying how those characters would have reacted to the horrifying situation they were in, the simple fact of the matter is that I, and many of my fellow viewers of that movie, did not identify with or care about the characters. If you're going to market a movie to geeks (and all the marketing on the internet, not to mention the composition of the trailer and what films it played before suggests that geeks were, in fact, the target market), you should probably not make your main characters the sort of bland, boring, normal 20-to-30 year old New York socialites that we all dread being stuck at a party with.

    Seriously, that big party and no one is playing Apples to Apples, Soul Calibur, Halo, or even Uno? Count me out! ;)"

    That said, I do appreciate that you're willing to intelligently explain your opinion of the movie, instead of just saying that people who don't like it are stupid.

    Now personally, I can also understand rooting for characters that you hate to die, but I really don't enjoy watching a movie where I really don't care for any of the characters. I did kind of like Marlena (or whatever her name was), with her sarcastic attitude, so of course she died earlier on. The sarcastic characters always bite it too soon!

    To me, having watched characters that I didn't like, only to have them die rather pointlessly, felt like a double let-down. If I'd liked them, at least I could have embraced the tragedy of the film. I like a good tragedy. And if I hadn't liked them, at least I could have embraced a happy ending. Just bitterly thinking "Well, at least those morons kicked the bucket" isn't enough for me. Your mileage may vary.

    ReplyDelete
  40. This movie had me glued to it, because I kept getting the impression that this creature was truly going to be something other-worldly and alien. What was it really? We still don't know!!! So screw JJ Abrams. I'm a Trek fan and I'm so pissed off at him that I refuse to pay for his Star Trek movie and I'm through watching LOST. It's the principle. I don't watch something because I DON'T want to know what's going on. Intelligent story writing does not equal leaving everything to our imaginations.
    1. Create a mystery
    2. Have a plan to reveal the answers to the viewers' bigger questions (by the end of the movie or season)
    3. Stick to the plan
    In the case of LOST, the big question is still "what the **** is the island? What the **** is going on?" Still not answered going on season 4. Finger. You've LOST me. Bye-bye, JJ

    ReplyDelete
  41. I will read a short summary about what really was going on in LOST, AFTER IT"S OVER. And I won't be too surprised if he never answers the big question. At least I won't have wasted all that time on it.
    I'm actually slow to take this point of view. I have friends who gave up on LOST near the middle of season 2.

    ReplyDelete
  42. omg! this movie is perfect to do my project for tomorrow. i have to criticize a movie and i just found what i wanted. this is the chance to express how much this movie sucked! it was the worst movie i ever seen in my entire life! i can not believe this is even in the theaters. i almost throw up, got a headache, and at the end of the movie i was like what the heck did just happened! is that it? you've got to be kidding me. i honestly never been so dissapointed i already told all my friends not to see it unless they wanna throw up, my eyes were so tired i had to close them all the way back home, thinking about how much this movie sucked! and right before the movie started my boyfreind told me I have a feeling this movie is gonna suck really bad, but ok lets give it a chance. but hey at least i have something to do my project on lol, well i'll go now i have A LOT to type.

    ReplyDelete
  43. RE: all the comments about Lost... I don't watch TV, and the only episode I've seen was at my MIL's house. I have to say that after 4 seasons of no answers, though, I'd be pretty annoyed. Besides, any time you build up a mystery that much, any answer is going to be a big let-down.

    pily, I hope you get an 'A' on your project :D

    ReplyDelete
  44. I was the one above who left an anonymous flame against JJ Abrams for his usual lack of explanation.
    Now that I've vented that, I thought I'd look around a bit. Where am I? ;D It's kinda therapeutic to go into some place full of people you don't know and just yell out what's ticking you off. Kind of rude though. Sorry about that, all.
    The only hope I have that some good may come of it is if JJ Abrams comes across this some day. I do intend to see his Star Trek movie(s). I've just decided not to pay for them. Maybe I'll wait until a friend rents it. :P
    Pily, you have my full permission to steal my words for your report. They're just words after all.

    ReplyDelete
  45. I didn't have a trace of motion sickness.

    I understood that we wouldn't find out anything significant about the monster because its a story of ordinary people caught up in something far larger than themselves.

    I didn't dislike or like them to any degree. I wasn't happy or sad when they died.

    I was just bored, so bored. I really wanted that film to end.
    Actually, I wish it hadn't started.

    The shaky-cam did not make me feel, 'like I was there'. It just made me hyper-aware that I was watching a film for every shot of the movie. There was no point were I got drawn into the action.

    This film was so devoid of originality. It was not art, it was not the dawn of a new era in film making.

    The film has made money so there will be a short term crop of copies but they wont make money and that will be it.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Haven't had this good a laugh in weeks (thanks guys).
    Not sure what else to add. Sucked like a black hole.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Hi!

    I just wanted to make a remark on this film from all the folks here in Norway (No! We are not the capitol of Sweden :) )
    THIS FILM WAS TERRIBLE!

    If u give the impression of a "godzilla" movie, please dont dissappoint me with this "cheap-piece-of-wannabe-which-should-be in-a-different-genre-film"

    That`s all from us in Norway..
    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  48. Hi, just seeing if I can post a comment-I couldn't earlier, for some reason.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Ah, it worked this time, great. I'm really getting a kick out of reading all these comments here, thanks, AJ. And, yes, I originally got here by running a search for "Cloverland Sucks". LOL
    Hey, if anyone and everyone reading could do me a BIG favor-I belong to a board that has been in existence in one form or another since the 90s, we've been through about eight different incarnations. However, some members are finally tiring of the disagreements on movies, etc;or just becoming too busy and are leaving/moving on. We're down to only a handful now-it's always been a mixed bag of people of all ages and both sexes. but we only have two lasies left, one runs the place.

    http://cypresslawncountryclub.com/newforum/index.php

    Our site engages in spirited discussion on everything from old to present tv shows, the entire gamut on films, particularly horr/sci fi/fantasy, politics, the unknown, you name it, a little of everything, althought it started out years ago as strictly a horror film board. Please come over and check it out, and consider joining. We even have a gentleman member that makes jewlry, AJ!! :^)
    Come on over and join, or if not, at least spread the word! Many thanks! And yes, AJ, I know full well about 'Beyond The Wall Of Sleep'-fortunately for me, several other members warned me about it, therefore sparing me. Oh, yeah-I'm known as "Foolkiller" over there-screen name was stolen from a Marvel Comics character that was a vigilante. And, yes, we have discussed "Cloverfield" LOL

    Thanks All,
    Dave

    ReplyDelete
  50. lasies=ladies

    damned typos.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Dude,.. I agree with you... Cloverfield sucks! They really suck that they manage to trick billions of people around the world to watch it. I bet none would ever bother to watch the movie a second time. Greetings from ASIA.

    ReplyDelete
  52. I didn't make time to catch the movie at initial release. I rented the DVD....... What a waste of time for me. The obvious and painful conclusion is that I am,in no way, hip enough to truly appreciate this soon to be cinema/cult classic. Cloverfield 'insert vulgar word here'......... really. The '3rd grader loose with a video camera' technique is dreadful. The premise of the movie is filled with promise but failed to deliver. Just another dumb Red Neck in Georgia.

    ReplyDelete
  53. I agree with most of you. Cloverfield , in my opinion does indeed suck. However, I wonder if perhaps we are not giving Mr. Abrams enough credit. Perhaps that shaky, motion-sickness-inducing hand-held camera ploy was just a clever trick to mask the natural sense of nausea
    you're bound to be feeling anyway as you struggle to get your 20 bucks worth out of such a total piece of crap! 30 million dollars and that's the best you could come up with!??? You might as well have tied the camera to a dog and had him run around on the set!!! (Maybe that'll be Cloverfield II)!!! Anyway, thanks for allowing me to vent.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Man I couldnt even watch the opening of it cause the shaking camera made me sick.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Yes it sucked!!! I watched it 2x and the second time pissed me off even worse. It could have been an awesome film if it were a bit more realistic. Say, some kids off the streets of Brooklyn or the Bronx. ie Those who know about survival and know the sewer pipes and alleys... not a bunch of overpriviledged yuppies with a $800,000 appt in Manhattan. That's what killed me about the whole thing. That and the guys who screamed like a bitch throughout the whole damned thing. That was annoying! This film could have been gritty and so much more! It was so phony and yet has a 7+ rating at IMDB. I'm positive there are many stupid people watching movies lately. Smokey and the Bandit was better than this shite!

    ReplyDelete
  56. Yep. The shaky camera crap ruined it. It was effective for SOME moments, but not the entire frigggin film!

    I don't know how much tye spent on the film actually, but the whole shaky, home-held cam thing is usually a sign that funds are not available to make a real movie.

    if they would've mixed it up more with some stable shots or something. LOTS MORE.... Well, even then maybe it would be just average.

    Not much of a plot at all.

    ReplyDelete
  57. I just watched this movie last night (May 11th), and couldn't believe how disappointing it was. I have to admit that I read quite a bit about the monster beforehand. When I watched the movie itself, however, Abrams' explanations for things, and how they appeared in the movie, simply didn't add up.

    First off, Abrams says the monster is scared because of the odd surrounding on the surface, but that impression is never actually given in the movie. In fact, it always seems that the monster is on the hunt, preying on humans with evil intent. I mean, specifically taking the head off the Statue of Liberty seems like a very specific action to take, and I'm not entirely sure that it was eating people because it was hungry, else it could have easily stopped after it collapsed the Brooklyn Bridge, and scooped up plenty of people there - but, it didn't.

    And what about the parasites? For all intents and purposes, they showed absolutely no characteristics that a parasite would have. They're just stupid little creatures that are so agile and deadly that they can practically immediately kill well-equipped soldiers with ease, yet they're equally slow and stupid to the point where they can easily be whacked to death with a metal bar whenever it calls for the main characters to face one. The idea that this made up for the lack of "intimate contact" with the monster is a joke; there's nothing more disinteresting that little, faceless, disgusting, bug-like creatures with no personality other than "kill, kill, kill, die, die, die".

    One of the biggest things that bothered me was that most of these things were being filmed at all; it completely broke any sense of expected decency. You have to realize that in every horrible scene where Rob's brother dies, where Marlena pops, Hud is putting the camera in their faces to get their reactions. He is supposed to be a great friend to them, yet all of a sudden, he seems to fall into the role of the documentarian - rather than dropping the camera and being a friend, he's sticking it in their faces as if recording the incident in great detail for future generations is what's foremost on him mind, which is obviously not supported by the character in the least.

    Of course, as a result, you see the fact that nobody (except Marlene, when she talks about the monster eating people) acts like a human being throughout the film, especially Hud, the eternal douchebag whose lame attempts at adding levity to the situation are downright embarassing. Fuck, you don't know how happy I was when he died. I realize that in situations like this, the full effect of what's happened doesn't emotionally sink in until afterward, but it almost seemed like Rob barely mattered once he thought about Beth being in trouble again. It seemed like the fact that they just watched Marlene explode right in front of their very eyes, and that Hud had such a huge crush on her (despite the fact that after she came and save his life, it looked as though he didn't do anything other than FILM the parasite biting her as Rob, I believe, kicked it off of her).

    I'm tired and rambling, so I may as well wrap it up here - the people weren't likable or real in the least, instead being petty, gossipy, loathesome people; the situations weren't plausible; the monster's behaviour wasn't congruent with the motivation Abrams said guided the monster's actions; the set-pieces were very obvious and unexciting (monsters stalking you while hanging off the ceiling of a fark tunnel, tres original); the "social commentary" that everyone reads into it is paper-thin and ultimately void of any literary symbolism, being resigned to the visual; and the last of information given about the situation, origins of the event, and aftermath weren't a method of helping you get into the same mindset as the characters as it is a cheap way to fleece people with a sequel.

    Stay the hell away from this movie. If you haven't seen it, keep it that way.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Wow, I fucked up a few sentences there. Oh well, I think you get the point of what I was trying to say, even if my sleep-starved brain did everything it could to muddle the intent.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Hmmm....honestly i was so excited to see this show but u know what when i finally did...pfttt screeww it!!! anyone could say it was awesome maybe it was yea but thats about it from my perspective it didnt have a nice intro a sucky body and a down-to-earth horrible conclusion...no one knows what happened next...Hmph

    ReplyDelete
  60. After reading all the previous comments I was begiing to wonder if all these other posters were telepathic and reading my mind. At least "Plan 9 From Outer Space" sucked so bad that it was good.

    This is one of the worst pieces of crap that ever took to the silver screen---albeit the artistry of the monster was pretty good.

    Like many others---the characters were so annoying that halfway through the maylay---I was rooting for the monster to win and in the end---I pretty much got my wish. What was JJ Abrams thinking? Didn't he proof the film as he was going along?

    "RJ McReady Helicopter Pilot---US Outpost Number 31"

    ReplyDelete
  61. Just watched the movie today. I kinda liked the calm before the storm, when they were just at the party, but once the storm started the movie sucked soo bad.

    Movies should lead you somewhere. If I wanted no direction I could just go outside.

    And one more thing. Why, when people are dying and a monster is loose, would you be clinging onto a camcorder?

    ReplyDelete
  62. totally sucked. but b4 those stupid hoes even left LA i was wishing they'd die and shut the hell up! terrible casting on top of everything else! stupid biz-nitches like that is why i'll never live in america again!!! (curently in tokyo-- home to the world's best women!!)

    ReplyDelete
  63. The movie was an ok movie but a bad film if you get that. The shaky cam didn't bother and was a good idea in some sense, but it failed in the movie because of the sense of reality, who would be holding on to a camera in that situation. The characters weren't likeable and the girl that left first in the helicopter should have died from the bite. I would have much rather had the movie end with the documentarian and his crush in the ruble. The ending sucked and makes me want to see cloverfield II because I would be glued to the screen like I was this time. The movie almost seemed like the first part of a 4 disc movie rather than a solid plot movie. I hope there is enough money for II because I want to see it but no shaky cam.

    ReplyDelete